Just Another Day in Gotham
by Miss Quiet Writer
Summary: When Robin is called, he finds Batman stuck in Catwoman's throes. What is a troll to do? A crackish, random one-shot.


**A/N: Hello! So, I had this hilarious text conversation with my friend (Leaffeather2) the other day and I promised her I would turn it into a story. This is short, mild crack, and inspired by roleplaying through text messages. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! This takes place during the five-year timeskip.**

**Also, if you would like to see the original text messages (ish) go to Leaffeather2's account. It's there. You'll know. **

**Disclaimer: Young Justice doesn't belong to me.**

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The team had just gotten back from a short (but gross) mission, and everyone was ready to head home. Right after a long shower, of course.

Conner grunted. It had been a long day, and he was tired. M'gann sidled up to him. "Get some rest, Conner." She pecked him on the cheek, and they walked back to their rooms together.

Artemis smirked. Even though she was filthy, all the slime from the monster had finally shut Kid Idiot up.

"Finally! A little peace and quiet in here." she said, slipping into the showers. Robin smirked at Wally's scowl. "She's right, you know."

Wally growled at his friend. "But don't worry pal, we'll get you fixed up with some cookies and hot chocolate! Your savior is here." Robin held up two bags of cookies and tossed Wally a few packets of instant hot chocolate. "Alfred packed me some of his famous cookies."

"Dude, you are the best." the redhead shoved a few cookies in his mouth, eyes rolling back in ecstasy. " ." (Translation: "Mmm… Yum.")

"You know it."

The holoscreen in the main area lit up. "Kaldur." Batman's face appeared before the team's leader. "Mission report."

"Batman." The Atlantean said in greeting. "It went well. We defeated the monster, and your predictions were correct." Kaldur stared dissaprovingly at Batman. "But you failed to include that the monster would coat us with its… remains."

Batman stared stonily back. "I didn't think it was necessary."

"Very well." Kaldur crossed his arms. "Anything else you would like to add?"

Batman's expression didn't change. "No. You are dismissed."

As soon as the screen flickered off, Kaldur exhaled. Talking to Batman was… slightly stressful.

A while later, Wally and Dick were just about done stuffing their faces when Dick touched his ear. "Gotta go. Bats is calling. It's Catwoman."

"Ohh." Wally nodded. "When ya gotta go, ya gotta go."

"See ya." Robin pulled on his mask and jumped through the zeta tubes.

He arrived in an abandoned phone booth in Gotham. Flipping open a screen on his wrist, he tapped a few buttons. "Ah-ha… Batman, here I come."

Batman was on a rooftop in the shadier section of Gotham, making small talk with Catwoman. Or at least, he was trying to.

"So, Bats… Fancy meeting you here." Catwoman sauntered up to the man, placing her hands around the back of his neck.

Batman remained stoic. _Any minute now, Robin…_

Within the space of a few seconds, the hero jumped onto the rooftop, freezing when he saw Batman's compromising situation. On his right, Alfred was climbing up a fire escape to the roof, dusting himself off.

There was awkward silence for a few minutes, then a certain troll broke the silence.

"Oooooooh, she's hitting on you!" he cackled, poking Batman repeatedly.

Meanwhile, Alfred glared at the boy. "Master Robin, I advise you not to point out the obvious." A faint smile ghosted over his lips.

"Oh, hey Alfie!" Robin waved cheerfully, pulling out his cellphone. "Hey, KF! Wanna come over? Catwoman's here! Okay, sending our coordinates now!"

"Alfie? Kid says thanks for the cookies."

Alfred nodded. Suddenly, a red and yellow blur screeched to a halt in front of them.

"Why he-llo hottie, fancy meeting you here." He winked at Catwoman, who scoffed.

Robin grinned, then brought out his phone again. "Heeey Artie! Yup… Uh-huh… Come over! Ok, bye."

Artemis leaped onto the roof, making Catwoman groan. "WALLY WEST!"

She marched over to Kid Flash and smacked him upside the head. "Stop making women deal with your idiocy!" She grabbed hold of his ear, dragging him away.

"Owowowowow… BABE!" he cried.

"Shut up! That little troll…"

Robin cackled even harder, but suddenly Batgirl shows up.

"DICK!"

He started, momentarily startled. "O-Oh, hey Babs."

"Why're you- oh hey Alfred, Batman." she leans in whispering in Robin- now Richard Grayson's- ear. "Why's Catwoman here?"

Catwoman, who over heard the whole thing, smiles saucily. "Awww, Batsy can't I just say hi?" she tip-toes her fingers up his shoulder.

"No." Batman remains stoic as ever, despite the woman draped over him.

"She's_ so_ hitting on him!" Robin whispers to Babs.

"Forget crime fighting, this is the type of thing that scars you for life…" Babs replies, cringing.

"Yeah, this and walking in on Bruce and his girl of the week." The two crime fighters shudder.

Batman narrows his eyes, but is distracted by Catwoman.

"Batsy-baby? Wanna get out of here? Have some alone time, away from all these children and old men?" she croons. Every syllable flirts.

Alfred coughs. "Excuse me." Beside him, both Kid Flash and Artemis have recovered, and are drinking water.

Catwoman looks at him with an expression of contempt. "We're busy right now."

Alfred sighs and walks away, but Robin grins.

"Save it for the bedroom!" he yells.

Wally spits out water, but Catwoman glares.

Both Babs and Artemis slap him over the head.

"Ow!" Wally exclaims.

"Ew, that's so gross, Wally!" Artemis says, and begins another wave of attacks. Wally throws up his hands to defend himself, while Robin looks on, cackling.

Wally accidentally spills water on Artemis, who pulls out her bow and starts shooting at him.

Catowman is still flirting with a very, very quiet Batman. Alfred sighs in the background.

Babs looks at Robin, who is still laughing. "What're you laughing at?!" She starts throwing Batarangs at the boy.

"Nothing, nothing. Just another day in Gotham…"

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**A/N: And that's it! Hope you enjoyed!**

**Miss Quiet Writer**


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